BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Randomize
