I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
