I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
