mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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