Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
