i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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