You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
