eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize