Whod you bang
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
