just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
