Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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