you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
