What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
