..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
