the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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