I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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