Just fell off a train. Bad.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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