I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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