Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
