Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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