im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize