Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
