Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
