He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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