So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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