really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
