No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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