the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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