i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
