There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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