puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
