"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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