I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
