we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and she was petting her beer can
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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