We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize