i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
