I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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