He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
