Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
