so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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