about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
