"it" just moved
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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