just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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