it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize