I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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