She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize