some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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