Quick, to the slutcave!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
