Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
