Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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