First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
