thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
