girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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