he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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