Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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