You made me cry and you don't even care
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
