So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
