We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
