Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
