I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
