So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
