So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
