They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
