Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
