After last night, I could never be a politician.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize