You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
